


A Swashbuckler's Guide to Kidnapping an Aristocrat

by rip_to_shreds



Series: Dianakko Week 2018 [1]
Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Aristocrat! Diana, Brief Description of Blood and Injury, Dianakko Week, Dianakko Week 2018, Gen, Pirate! Akko
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-06-10 09:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15288714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rip_to_shreds/pseuds/rip_to_shreds
Summary: A story for the centuries, if one of them doesn’t die first. (Dianakko Week 2018: Days 1-5 + Day 7 and everything outside of that)





	1. Step 1: Don’t Actually Kidnap an Aristocrat

**Author's Note:**

> The moment I saw the prompts for this year's Dianakko Week, this immediately popped into my head. I guess it was just fate that I end up writing a Pirate AU!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana just wanted to get back to London safe and sound, even if it came with signing away all the control she had over her life. She really did not expect this. (Day 1: Adventure)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:**  
>  \- Mention of blood  
> \- Mention of injury

The wind is blowing through her hair, the smell of sea salt prominent in her nose. Diana stares out at the waves, the back and forth of it distracting her from her worries.

Or rather, distracting her from the one worry she has.

When she steps off this boat, she will be in London. Her aunt will be there waiting for her, a pleasant smile on her face to mask the sharpness of her teeth. Her cousins will be behind Aunt Daryl, cruel amusement in their eyes as they lie in wait for her to hint at any weakness.

They’ll coax her into the carriage, pushing her with too much force and prodding her with too much edge. She’ll sit in the carriage, staring out at the sight of London streets to distract her from where she is heading, just as she now stares out at the ocean.

It is the House of Hanbridge that is her destination. The maids and butlers will rush her in, greeting her warmly, but this will never be enough to distract her from the fact that this is the beginning of preparations for her marriage to Andrew Hanbridge.

No, this will never be enough to make her forget how she is giving up all control for eternity.

But Diana will oblige as she always does, all to preserve the image of the House of Cavendish, a family that has been stagnating since Aunt Daryl has taken the realm. She will oblige because marrying Andrew cannot possibly be as bad as she expects it to be. They have been friends for a long time. Andrew is - _should be_ \- understanding enough to let her continue to pursue her medical career.

It doesn’t matter how much she feels like she’s lying to herself. It doesn’t matter at all.

Diana is dragged out of her revery when the captain of the ship yells for the attention of everyone on the deck.

“We have just spotted a pirate ship. Our strategist has decided that it will be better to attack them before they are able to attack us. As such, be forewarned that we will be preparing for sea warfare. All passengers are advised to head below deck unless they are able to fight, of which then they should find a sailor who will direct them to the ship’s armoury.”

Diana is...shocked, to say the least. She was already worried enough about...well, everything that was going to happen in London, and now there was...this.

She starts to head below deck when a pair of sailors pass by her. They are whispering rapidly, one of them fidgeting with his hands while the other keeps on glancing in the direction of the pirate ship. Diana normally would not have paid them any mind, if not for the fact that she caught a whiff of, “ _We’re_ facing the most feared group of pirates on the seven seas?!?!” and latched onto it.

So. The captain lied by omission, probably to not incite panic in the passengers.

If the people on this pirate ship were as feared as she thought they were, that meant a lot of people were going to die.

A lot of those deaths could be prevented if there’s a doctor on board.

A doctor like her.

* * *

No matter how Diana resolved to remain above deck and help out as best as she can, she wasn’t exactly _expecting_ what that entailed.

At least the blood wasn’t anything she wasn’t used to.

They have just reached a lull in the fighting, it becoming quiet enough that Diana can hear the waves as they splash against the hull of the ship, when a pirate stumbles into her.

Quite literally.

The pirate, interestingly enough a female when Diana only hears tales of male pirates, is bleeding from a wound in her thigh, her harsh breathing suggestive of the pain she is experiencing.

Diana knows she shouldn’t but...she can’t just leave her to die, even _if_ she is a pirate.

She disinfects the wound with water from a bucket nearby, picking out any loose rocks and dirt in it, before wrapping it. Afterwards, she splashes water on the pirate’s face, hoping this will keep her awake.

It does, just in time for a cannonball to pulverize part of the ship’s hull.

This is where Diana finally begins to understand the severity of the situation and promptly begins to panic.

This is also where the pirate has regained consciousness to, oddly enough, just _grab_ her, Diana emitting a shriek in response, and carry her bridal style.

Diana at least feels warm in the pirate’s grasp, and she cannot help but hyper fixate on the strength pulsing in the pirate’s arms.

At least, until the pirate clambers over the ship’s railing and begins to nimbly make her way down to the sea. When she nears the water, she maneuvers Diana onto her back, gesturing for Diana to hold onto her shoulders. The pirate then enters the water and begins to swim towards the pirate ship with Diana on her back.

Diana holds on tightly to the pirate’s shoulders, the frigid water causing shivers to wrack her body.

The unknown future that lies ahead is what scares her the most though.

* * *

Most of this experience is a blur, Diana doing her best to block out her panic - or at least, shove it to the back of her head - and just _hold on_.

When they do finally make it to the pirate ship, there is a rope waiting. The pirate grabs onto this and climbs up to the deck.

Diana finally lets go of her grip on the pirate’s shoulders, her hands pale as ivory from how tight her grip was, and plops onto the floor.

She takes a few moments to process.

Her mute state from shock quickly turns into very vocal confusion.

“W-Why would you save me?”

The pirate shrugs. “It wouldn’t be polite to let the person who saved me drown, now would it? And besides, having a doctor on board _would_ be useful, so I seized the opportunity.”

Diana stares at her incredulously.

The pirate sighs. “Ye looked like you needed an adventure. Or at least, an adventure would change the dullness in your eyes.”

The...dullness in her eyes?

When did that happen to her? When did she lose all hope?

Diana doesn’t want to agree with the pirate. It would be betraying all that she ever know, denouncing the family that she held so dearly.

But maybe she doesn’t have to agree.

The pirate smiles. “Yeah, like that. I wondered how ye would look with a shine to your eyes.”

Maybe she just has to let life take its course.

Wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some notes:  
> \- Diana is pursuing a career because the Cavendish family is known for specializing in healing magic in the anime.  
> \- Diana’s relationship with her aunt and the Hanbridge is largely the same as her relations  
> \- Akko is a pirate for reasons that will be explained later on. 
> 
> Regardless, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


	2. Step 2: Mull Over the Implications of Kidnapping an Aristocrat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akko swears she didn’t mean to kidnap an aristocrat! It just...happened? Well, at least the aristocrat’s a pretty one. (Day 2: Danger)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:**  
>  \- Sexual innuendos (not NSFW though since unless you know pirate slang)  
> \- Threats of violence (as is typical amongst friends)
> 
> I just realized that I should mention that if there is any pirate slang you don't understand, there should be a definition for it at the bottom. I tried to be kinda true to the setting but I was also pretty lazy about it so please don't murder me for any mistakes.

Akko would like to start off, she didn’t _mean_ to kidnap an aristocrat. It just happened!

“Yeah, as if _that_ isn’t a lie.”

And here lies her struggle: getting Sucy Manbavaran to actually believe that she did not enter that ship with the intention of kidnapping an aristocrat, _no matter_ how pretty they actually were.

“I mean, at least ye catched a pretty one. Might have forgotten how dead men tell no tales, aye, but at least that aristocrat be a pretty one.”

And here lies another of her struggles: stuffing it into Amanda O’Neill-

(“Neill with two l’s, Akko, not one! What the bloody hell, were ye hit in the head as a young child?” “Shut ye mouth, ye son of a biscuit eater, or I’ll have ye spend a night in Davy Jones’ locker!” “As if ye had the guts to do that!”)

-that she did not rescue the aristocrat just so she could get in her pants.

Speaking of getting in Diana’s pants: “I offer to stop at land just so ye can crack Jenny’s teacup, but what do ye say? ‘ _No_ , it would simply be too impersonal,’ as if ye are some of that pathetic baggage your aristocrat must carry. But ye drop _everything_ for that wench because of - what I do not even know!” Amanda throws her hands up into the air at the end of the rant, clearly done with all of Akko’s bullshit.

Akko groans and looks to Lotte for support, except the aforementioned _friend_ is pointedly ignoring her pleas for aid, instead immersed in a conversation with Jasminka about _the dangers of moss_ of all things.

Oh heavens themselves, she has the worst pick of friends.

Before Akko can persist in mourning the short end of the stick she has drawn in life, however, a cannonball crashes onto the deck, thankfully where none of the crew is standing.

Rather lucky, one might say, but, well...this crew had a lot of luck to spare, a deity having decided to give them quarter more than once in their pitiful lives.

The group Akko is standing with remains unfazed, her among this population of people who simply do not pay attention to any scurvy dogs.

It is Diana, the filthy landlubber as Amanda would most certainly call her, that arrives onto the scene, most likely having heard the ruckus from below the deck, that breaks this habit of ours, letting out an _eep_ at the sight of the cannonball driven into the planks of the deck.

She pales, even more than she already has at least, when Constanze, having finally left whatever device she is tinkering with, merely scoops up the cannonball and takes it below deck to the armoury.

It is at this point that Akko deigns it necessary to drag Diana below deck, letting out a deep sigh afterwards as she gets ready to fight.

It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy fighting.

It’s quite enjoyable, actually, especially when she’s brawling with friends. She was well versed in the art of the cutlass and took to using it like a fish in water when in an especially _satisfying_ duel.

It’s just that - that, there was no enjoyment in these fights between pirates on both sides of the law, just cold glares, cold glares ever so similar to the cold feeling you got when you’re dumped into the water early in the morning without any grasp on your senses.

It doesn’t matter. A fight is a fight, and there is always one law everyone must abide by when it comes to such matters: don’t back down if you know what’s best for you.

So that is what she does.

And what she’ll always do.

* * *

The battle went...well, she couldn’t say it went _well_ , but no one died on their side, so Akko would count it as a victory for them.

Another tally mark added to the list, she supposed.

Well, at least she didn’t have to suffer for long. Akko was one of the lucky few who was not roped into helping Lotte fix the ship (even though they’ll probably make it worse, like poking at a plague sore makes it worse, and she’ll do all the work passive aggressively with only random bouts of assistance from Constanze). Which _means_ that all she has to do is head down below deck and be met with the beloved face...ahem, be met with the face of Diana.

Yeah, she’s _not at all_ doing this to get a glimpse of Diana! She _does_ have injuries that she would appreciate Diana treating.

So, she heads down, excited to do _who knows what_ , but the first thing she is met with is not the beautiful face of Diana but rather, a scathing question of, “Is having cannonballs launched onto your deck a commonplace thing?”

Akko’s shocked, so to speak, but more so annoyed that she just can’t admire Diana’s face. Still, she has to respond, and so does it the only way she knows how to such a question.

She shrugs, remarking amusedly, “Well, _yes_. What _would_ ye expect from the scourge of the seven seas?”

Diana seems to freeze, but recovers, clearing her throat. “I suppose my expectations were more of you attacking other ships rather than other ships attacking _you_ first.”

Akko can feel her smile become strained. She knew that Diana, having been beholden to a more privileged life as expected of an aristocrat, would have trouble understanding what the people on this ship went through, but _still_...it _hurt_ to hear such a dismissal be uttered from such pretty lips.

So Akko cannot be blamed when she declaims, “That only happens in a perfect world. This,” throwing her arms out to the side, “ _this fighting_ is just the product of us trying to escape our hopeless fates the only way we know how.”

Diana looks as if she had been about to retort with an unnecessary comment, but falls silent, mulling over her words.

Akko steps forward unconsciously, feeling as if she is watching a shipwreck that, no matter how much she wants to look away, she cannot look away from.

Words spill out of her mouth. “Careful _lass_ .” One step. “You’re dangerously close to becoming even _more_ of a landlubber than ye already are.” Another step. “ _What_? Didja think the laws of the sea are as black and white as your monarch says they are?” And a few more.

At this point, she is in front of Diana, leaning forward to drive in her point.

Their faces are close, breath intermingling as Akko watches in fascination as fear and... _confusion_ flashes in Diana’s eyes.

Huh. To think _she_ was able to do that.

Their faces are close, so close that if Akko leans in a bit closer, she could seal Diana’s lips-

And suddenly, Akko is reminded of the situation, a blush spreading across her face. She stumbles backwards as she quickly tries to widen the distance between her and Diana.

She laughs awkwardly, staring at the ground as she digs crescents into the palms of her hands with her fingernails.

Akko whips her head upwards, an apology on her tongue, only to see the continued look of fear, confusion, _whatever_ on Diana’s face. The words burn like acid in her tongue, scratching at her throat and sinking to the bottom of her stomach.

She quickly spits out, “Farewell! I bid you all the best!” before running up the stairs, skipping the steps so she can make it to the deck, so that she can finally _breathe_.

Her heart is dangerously close to jumping out her chest.

Akko doesn’t like how much it feels like the thrill that runs up her spine when met with an exquisite duel.

She doesn't like how this was all caused by Diana, an aristocrat who would never care enough to stay.

But she ignores it, shoving it all to the back of her mind.

It’s one of _many_ things Akko has gotten especially good at as a pirate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, translations:  
> \- “dead men tell no tales” is an expression meaning no survivors left behind;  
> \- “son of a biscuit eater” is a name or insult for someone you dislike, similar to, “son of a bitch” I would assume;  
> \- “spend a night in Davy Jones’ locker” is a reference to a mystical fable about an evil spirit from the bottom of the ocean that draws pirates or sailors down to their death, so Amanda’s pretty much saying she’s gonna murder Akko;  
> \- “crack Jenny’s teacup” is a term for spending the night with a prostitute *waggles eyebrows*;  
> \- “wench” is a girl or young woman, though I mostly derived it from Shakespearean literature rather than actual pirate slang;  
> \- same goes for “oh heavens themselves,” which pretty much means oh my God;  
> \- “quarter” means mercy;  
> \- “scurvy dogs” is an insulting name;  
> \- “landlubber” is someone who is awkward at sea and comfortable on land;  
> \- “cutlass” is a thick, heavy and rather short sword blade for pirates;  
> \- “scourge of the seven seas” are the worst kind of pirates;  
> \- and “lass” is how one refers to a younger female pirate.
> 
> Some additional notes:  
> \- In my head, I imagined Constanze to be responsible for making weaponry (i.e. swords, blades, etc.) and explosives (i.e. cannonballs, etc.) while Lotte is responsible for fixing the ship itself in reference to how she could interact with the spirits of objects which helped her mend them (I think??? I don’t remember exactly so don’t quote me on it).  
> \- If you were wondering, in the last scene, Akko and Diana were all alone below deck.  
> \- The reason Akko is pretty different from canon was because she had a pretty good life in canon (I mean, there’s nothing to suggest otherwise) while in here, being a pirate...doesn’t really speak to having a great life, I guess you could say, which I’ll be exploring in future chapters. Diana, on the other hand, while having a bad relationship with her family, is pretty naive when it comes to all of that stuff, so they’re gonna clash a little more than they did in canon. 
> 
> Now that I think about it, this fic is probs gonna end up being more than 6 chapters. Oh well ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯….but y’all are still gonna have to wait longer than the next day for any chapters because this is all I’ve written so far. Sorry about that :’( .


	3. Step 3: Have the Aristocrat Make Friends with Other Swashbucklers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana never understood how others could so easily make a fool out of themselves. (Day 3: Laughter)

Diana is left...speechless, to say the least. After what Akko said, how could she _not_ be?

It was odd, the entirety of that...fight. She had spent her entire life growing up surrounded by twisted words, by poison dripping off her aunt’s tongue. Diana never tried to go against it, just kept her head down even though they both _knew_ how much they despised each other.

She grew up cold, frigid, bitter, hiding her creaking pain behind a proud demeanor.

Her head was always held up high, too high so that no one can grab it and drag her down. Her cards were always held close to her chest, too close so that no one could take advantage of her pathetic self.

So it was odd that someone would outright reveal their emotions, so freely and so openly, when she had trouble just answering the question of how her day was.

No one never vocalized their emotions about her to her face. Diana was too cold for there to be any point in trying.

But _Akko_. Akko was _blazing_ in emotion, wrapping it around her like a cocoon and taking shelter in it like it could _protect_ her.

Diana should chase after Akko. She should chase after Akko and apologize. Try to gain an insight into her perspective.

But she won’t. Saving Akko’s life that time may have changed her life, but it didn’t change the fact that she was a coward.

* * *

Before Diana could have even _considered_ the option of ruminating on what just happened, people begin to filter into the room. They enter one after the other, some with ripped pieces of cloth wrapped around their injuries and some baring their bloody, scraped selves for everyone to see.

No matter how different they all seemed, they had one thing in common: smiles on their face, some small and some big and some too sharp to not hide some sort of hidden bloodlust, but all hinting at the comradery shared amongst them.

Shaking her head, Diana shifts her focus from this... _thing_ to how to treat her patients. The shift in thoughts is a shockingly easy one, but perhaps not so shocking with her having experience reeling in her emotions around others too often for it to be healthy.

Diana notes immediately that their injuries, while certainly not grievous, should be cleaned and wrapped properly to assure that there is no chance of infection.

She monotonously says, “Whoever wishes to be treated first, step right up,” not paying any mind to who actually is the first to step up. She eventually loses all awareness of her surroundings, the repetitive nature of disinfecting and binding wounds effectively calming her down.

Sooner or later, she is done with her work but is left not knowing what to do with herself. Seek out companionship from the others? She scoffs at the idea. Diana could hardly say that she’s close to any of the crew members, and the only crew member she’s close to...Well. That friendship already imploded on itself before she could even enjoy it.

Huh. It was rather presumptuous of her to think that her connection with Akko could even be considered a friendship. Maybe that’s why it was ripped to pieces so quickly.

Her eyes have taken to tracing the lines on her hands, too caught up in the recesses of her mind to be able to do much else.

Maybe that’s why she doesn’t realize that someone is waving their hands in front of her face. At least, she doesn’t...until they yell in her ear.

“Doctor!”

This easily snaps Diana out of her revery, but it is at the unfortunate cost of her hearing. She rubs at her ears, an uncomfortable ringing in her ears. That ringing...is easily the most annoying thing she has ever experienced.

Eventually, she looks up and is met with one of the crew members-

(Who is it? She really should have asked Akko the names of her comrades before-)

-with her arms crossed, towering over her.

The crew member smiles in amusement. Diana can’t help but frown in response, glaring up at the crew member.

The crew member lifts her hands up in defeat. “Blimey! Ye could make some poor lass shark bait with a glare like that!”

Diana only narrows her eyes more. “What do you want?” she says coldly.

The crew member wraps her hands around the back of her neck, resting her weight on it. “Yeesh! It just looked like ye fed the fish with how ye were staring down at your hands.”

Diana waits for her to say more. The crew member seems to ignore Diana’s implicit message and does not say anything else.

She groans. “That does not at all answer my inquiry.”

The crew member does end up complying, but not without rolling her eyes. “Fine, fine. I need ye to wrap up me wounds. Ye _can_ do that, aye?” She stares down at Diana, a challenge in her eyes and the arrogant way she lifts her eyebrows.

Diana can feel herself wanting to yell, but composes herself, plastering a sharp smile on her face. “Yes, of course I can do that. It would have been more convenient if you had arrived with the rest of the flock, of course, but I’m sure that you’ll just have to shimmer in your inadequacy when your wound ends up infected because you decided to come to me so late.”

The crew member looks shocked at the bite in Diana’s tone, eyes widening. Diana immediately regrets it, expecting repercussions, stilted conversations, averted gazes, an oppressing atmosphere.

Except.

Except, the crew member starts cackling, a low and steady rumble that crescendos into a thunderous cacophony.

“Sink me! I didn’t know that a landlubber like ye had it in ye!” The crew member clutches at her stomach before sinking down into a crouched position.

She holds out her hand. “I’m Amanda O’Neill. It’s nice to meet ya.”

Diana stares at the hand before tentatively shaking it. Once she lets go, she coughs awkwardly and says, “I’m Diana Cavendish. I...suppose it’s nice to make your acquaintance.”

Amanda groans, dramatically dragging her hands down her face. “Come on matey! You were so firey a few seconds! What happened to all that passion?”

Diana rolls her eyes, amusement coursing through her veins. “That amusement has been discarded for now, since I _severely_ need to wrap your wounds. Wouldn’t want you to _actually_ get an infection because of your tomfoolery, now would we?” She lifts an eyebrow imposingly, daring Amanda to be contradictory.

All she gets is Amanda blinking a few times, before cupping her chin in her hands. She has a contemplative look on her face.

“Wait, ye were _serious_ about that?”

Diana blinks. “Serious about what?”

“That ye can get an _infection_ from a wound?”

Diana stares for a few seconds. She is not sure if Amanda is actually serious, but the moment she recognizes the curiosity in Amanda’s eyes, she loses it.

She can’t help but laugh incredulously. Diana realizes that in some way, she’s also laughing at her circumstances.

Sent off to be married to a man she didn’t love. Her ship attacked by pirates, but herself saved by one of those very pirates. And now, here she is, laughing because _of course_ not everyone would be aware of the knowledge that was so easily available to someone in the medical field.

It’s kinda sad if she thinks about it. Akko had mentioned that they were all just trying to escape their hopeless fates the only way they knew how, but…

But, she was just too caught up in her misery to not realize how privileged she was.

Diana may hate the expectations that came with being rich. She may hate it, but she was also used to it.

What about the several girls who didn’t have access to the opportunities that money provided? What would happen to them? Would anyone even _remember_ them?

Without realizing, Diana has stopped laughing a long time and ended up just staring mutedly at... _something_ , _nothing_ , _anything at all_.

Amanda pats her on the shoulder. “Hey, lass, I’d really appreciate if ye bound my wounds.”

Diana’s head shoots up and she gets right to work. “Yes, of course.” She grabs the bucket with water and drenches a rag in it.

She stares at the wound, drawling, “Yeah, Amanda. You can get an infection if you leave your wound exposed to the air for too long. Bacteria and the like can enter your body from there, after all,” and then begins to wipe the wound.

Amanda nods, considering this. “Well…”

Diana hums. “Yeah?”

Amanda huffs, “It’s not my fault I came in so late. The rest of the crew only came because Lotte kicked them out.”

“Lotte?” Diana says in interest, multitasking as she searches for the poultice. Once she finds it, she begins applying it to the wound.  

Amanda grins. “Yeah, the lass is pretty much in charge of fixing the boat. She doesn’t seem like it, but she takes it really seriously if anyone messes up, especially when it comes to the boat.”

Diana’s mouth tilts upwards. “So I suppose it’s not inaccurate to presume that the people I treated earlier today ‘messed up,’ as you so called it?”

Amanda laughs meanly. “Aye, they were shaming their ancestors with their skills, so of course Lotte kicked them out.”

“So why’d she let you stay?” The bandage goes around the wound, one, two, three times, before she ties it up and cuts off the excess.

“Hmm...it’s probably because of me acrobatics.”

Wiping off her hands, Diana looks up, intrigued.

“Acrobatics? Like, in a circus?”

Amanda’s eyes light up. “Yeah! Like that. I’m really good at getting at places high up so she lets me stick around. It’s real fun and lets me brush up on my skills, even though I end up really sore afterwards.”

Diana chuckles. “It sure sounds like you enjoy it.”

Amanda rubs the back of her neck. “I sure do…”

Diana tilts her head in question. “But?”

“Well, it’s certainly not as much as Akko enjoys fighting.”

“Fighting?”

“Yeah. Give that lass a sword and she’ll knock you down, a smile on her face all the while.”

“Ah.”

“But that’s not all. She uses the dirtiest tricks in the book, even though it’s obvious that she could easily knock her opponent down with raw skill alone.”

“Really?”

“Aye. I only found this out because she had three sheets to the wind. Turns out, the only reason she does it is because she loves the look of surprise on their faces.”

Diana nods. “That does sound like her. I mean, the things she said to me when we first met were certainly...well, simply put, _surprising_.”

Amanda looks at her slyly. “Hmm...it sure sounds like you’re pretty close to her already. Does the wittle aristocrat have a thing for the bad pirate?”

Diana can feel red spreading across her cheeks, but covers up her embarrassment with a hysterical laugh.

It clearly does not work.

Amanda only sighs in response, “Okay, I’ll back off, no need to look like you’re feeding the fish.” She lifts herself off the ground before holding out a hand to Diana.

Diana stares at it.

Amanda laughs. “Come on, I have to introduce ye to the others.”

Diana gets up on her own, pushing away Amanda’s hand. “No need for your hand. I simply cannot trust where it’s been.”

Amanda jabs her in the stomach with her elbow. Diana is left breathless, but not the good kind. Clutching at her stomach, she looks up at Amanda in incredulity. “There really was no need for that.”

Amanda fakes her surprise, covering her hand with her mouth. “ _Really_? I hadn’t realized.”

Diana ends up laughing after that, clutching her stomach even more than she’s ever had before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, translation notes:  
> \- “blimey” is an expression of surprise/shock  
> \- “shark bait” is what you become after you walk the plank  
> \- “feed the fish” means that you’re about to die  
> \- “sink me” is another expression of surprise  
> \- a “poultice” is a soft, moist mass of material, typically of plant material or flour, applied to the body to relieve soreness and inflammation and kept in place with a cloth  
> \- “three sheets to the wind” means you’re very drunk
> 
> Some additional notes:  
> \- The reason why Amanda uses her acrobatics to her benefit in this fic? Because she has a talent for it in canon.  
> \- I bullshitted the entire treatment aspect of this chapter so please don’t murder me.  
> \- Also, yeah, I know Amanda and Diana aren’t in friends in canon, but this is my fic and if I want them to be friends, they will be friends. 
> 
> Sorry for those who wanted Dianakko to interact, but I thought it was more important that Diana interacts with the others before she interacts with Akko again. She needs to open up more to others, after all, and this was also a good way for her to gain a perspective into the pirate life. 
> 
> Regardless, hope y’all enjoyed this chapter! If you have any questions, you can contact me on Tumblr @neutral-as-fuck or on Instagram @exx3ntix.


	4. Step 4: Help the Aristocrat Assimilate into the Swashbuckler Lifestyle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akko never would have guessed that her love for good fights would lead to this. (Day 4: Spoiling Akko)

The day passes just like any other day, shifting from afternoon to evening in the midst of all the ruckus the pirates are causing. But for Akko, it is this shift from afternoon to evening that proves to be the most excruciating thing she has ever experienced.

No matter the ruckus of her comrades surrounding her on all sides - of which she would normally have eagerly participated in - they are not enough to distract her from her thoughts, a rare occurrence in its own right.

Usually it would be because she was mulling over-

...But _now_? Now it was because of a particular aristocrat she just _had_ to save that fateful day on that ship.

Akko has always had the worst luck. It didn’t matter if it was in her normal childhood that ended far too quickly or her tumultuous time as a teenager or _even_ her currently adrenaline-tinged era as as pirate - Lady Luck had decided even before she was born that she hated Akko.

So, she _shouldn’t_ have expected much from the freshly born connection she had made with Diana. But she had and now Akko has to deal with the repercussions.

That feeling of utter betrayal that had flooded her system as a result of Diana’s admittedly naive comment still lingers. Akko’s knife smoothly cuts through the piece of wood in her grasp, wishing she could just cut the feeling out of her with utter precision.

Someone claps her on the shoulder as she continues to cut the wood. The direction the knife is moving in is altered from the force, and as much as Akko does try to reverse its course, it is not enough to prevent the knife from nicking her finger.

Blood immediately begins to drip from the cut that appears, causing Akko to quietly hiss in annoyance. It splatters onto the wooden crate she is sitting on, one out of the many scattered over the ship.

She whips her head towards the perpetrator of her annoyance, her frown deepening further at the sight of the bilge-sucking smirk on Amanda’s face.

“I swear to God, I’m gonna tie ye to a killick and throw ye into the ocean, ye utter bastard!”

Amanda cocks her eyebrow. “Bold of ye to assume you’ll be able to get your hands on one before I shove ye into Davy Jones’ locker!”

Akko crosses her arms in front of her chest. Huffing, she tilts her head to stare up at the sky. She doesn’t have enough energy to deal with another yelling match, especially with the previous one still lingering in her head.

But it seems like ignoring Amanda isn’t going to work, what with the girl in question tugging at Akko’s ear sharply and with what Akko knows to be vicious glee.

Akko’s hand immediately slaps over her ear, an, “Ow!” leaving her mouth without her permission.

Amanda merely sighs in response to her suffering.

At some point during this, Amanda had jumped to sit on the crate next to hers. So, Akko merely has to twist her body a little before she begins screeching, “Can’t ye show some grief about me pain?!”

Amanda sighs. _Again_.

Akko’s eyes narrow and she swiftly kicks Amanda in the shin as revenge.

But to no avail, the only thing Amanda does in response is scrunch her eyebrows.

Akko gives up. Guess there’s no point in trying.

Silence settles between the two momentarily before Amanda gives in, groaning all the while. She vigorously cards her fingers through her messy hair, finally leaning back to support her neck with her clasped hands.

“What’s wrong with ye, Akko?”

Akko’s head flicks up in surprise. “Huh?”

Amanda’s eyebrows furrow closer together. “Ye heard what I said. Ye’ve been... _off_ all day.”

Akko scoffs. “What’s it matter to ye?”

Amanda looks to the side. “It’s not exactly _fun_ to pick a fight with ye when your mind’s not even _in_ the fight.”

Akko’s about to retort snarkily of how she doesn’t even _want_ to be fighting with Amanda. But before she can, a smirk slithers onto Amanda’s face and she casually says, “Besides, I doubt ye’d be able to beat me in a sword fight if ye’re just gonna be moping like this.”

Akko cackles at that, already feeling her mood brightening.

She jabs a finger in Amanda’s direction. “Ha! Ye can hardly beat me, even on me worst days. Ye wanna bet that I won’t just hand your ass to ye?”

Amanda confidently declares, “Fine! Let’s do this!” jumping off the crate and stretching her back. She then juts her hand in Akko’s direction. Akko rolls her eyes at the theatrics but still firmly shakes the offered hand.

It’s been a while since Akko’s had a sword fight for the sake of - of getting an adrenaline rush. Maybe it’ll be enough to distract her from how she messes up everything in her life.

* * *

But before they can begin, the crates scattered on the deck of the ship had to, unfortunately, first be pushed out of the way.

Akko would have loved to see how the addition of the crates would have elevated this duel.

But.

(And there always _is_ a but when it comes to pirates.)

But the crates had products that would hopefully let them hornswoggle some poor soul of all the doubloons in their coffers. Alas, that meant they could not get damaged as was bound to happen to them in her duel with Amanda.

So, they had to go.

Still, that did not do much to dampen Akko’s excitement about getting to jab an _extremely_ pointy sword at Amanda.

It is now nearing the evening, the sky shifting in color every minute that passes.

Akko stands, leaning on the hilt of her sword, relaxed and confident. Amanda is in front of her, a few footsteps away. She is immersed in her stretching, but makes sure to lift her head and throw Akko a wide smirk.

 _Oh_ , how she does not know the rig Akko is going to run on her.

The rest of the crew surrounds them in a vague circle, placing bets on who they think is going to win. Lotte has been designated as the keeper of the duel, everyone already knowing that she is the fairest out of all them - as _odd_ of a phrase that may be to say about pirates.

Lotte stands off to the side, now holding up three fingers. As she lowers each one, she counts down.

“Three.”

Akko shifts her weight off the hilt of her sword onto her legs. Amanda, opposite her, stills her motions.

“Two.”

Akko lifts up her sword, pointing it in Amanda’s direction. Amanda does the same, slightly widening her stance as she bends her knees.

“One.”

And so the duel begins. Amanda makes the first move, rushing Akko in an attempt to disarm her in one go. Akko twists her body as she dodges, bringing her sword down to clash with Amanda’s sword.

Amanda steps forward as she applies additional pressure onto Akko’s blade with her blade, attempting to lift it to her advantage. Akko does not yield, forcing Amanda’s blade down before kicking it out of her hand.

But before Akko can deal the finishing blow, Amanda scrambles out of the way and manages to get her hands on her sword. Akko huffs at this.

Well. At least this duel got _that_ more interesting.

Amanda grins up at Akko, and Akko bares her teeth viciously for all to see.

Akko waits for Amanda to make the first move, a mocking expression on her face as she makes it evident how unwilling she is to play it risky.

Amanda steps up to the challenge, lunging towards her. Akko dodges once again, but is shocked to find that Amanda had been feinting when she had looked as if she was going for Akko’s right side. In a split-second decision, Akko drops to ground and ducks under Amanda’s attack, just barely missing the blade that would have been jabbed into her left side.

Amanda is clearly shocked by this if the look on her face is any indication. Akko swiftly takes advantage of this to lightly jab her blade into Amanda’s body.

Amanda groans, lifting her hands in defeat, and Akko grins at this, hooting her joy at her victory.

“Ye won this round, Akko, but ye better not believe that I will let ye win the next one.”

Akko chuckles at this. “Whatever, ye old salt. Come on, stop hanging the jib and maybe we can finally go have our meal.”

Amanda stares mutinously out into the distance, but still ends up getting up, clapping the nonexistent dust off her hands. Akko throws her hand around her shoulders cheerfully, the smile that appears on Amanda’s face not escaping her notice.

* * *

Akko eventually manages to find her crewmates sitting on the crates and shouts, “Hey! Ye left without even seeing the end of the match!”

Sucy only merely glances up at Akko for a few seconds before looking down and counting the doubloons on her lap. She drawls out, “Not all of us are fiends for duels, Akko.”

Akko gasps. “Me! A fiend for duelling! Perish the thought!”

Amanda laughs at this, slapping her hands vigorously on her knees. “Sucy makes a good point, Akko. You’re like a prisoner who can’t get enough of opiates.”

Akko sputters at this, trying to protest but eventually giving up, dropping her head into her hands. She is, however, shocked out of her embarrassment when Diana softly says, “That was exquisite, Akko.”

Her head shoots up, and she finds herself gaping like a fish out of water.

Diana blushes for some reason. Akko remembers there is a thing called small talk and awkwardly replies, “Um...thank you, Diana.”

Diana smiles a little, if you can call tilting your mouth upwards a little a smile. “There’s no need for that, Akko. It is well deserved on your behalf. You appear to be extremely talented in the art of the blade. You...look like you love it dearly.”

Akko stills for a second. Huh, to think that she was that obvious.

In a desperate attempt, she redirects the conversation. “If ye want, I can teach ye some moves.”

Diana looks surprised. “Really? Well, that...that is an offer I mustn’t decline.”

She daintily gets up and follows after Akko who has already turned around, heading in the direction of where she left her sword. She picks it up, shifting its weight from her left hand to her right hand in distraction.

Diana stops in front of her, looking at Akko expectantly. She reluctantly passes the sword over, cringing at the sight of Diana awkwardly holding the sword in her hands.

“That’s not how ye do it. Here, I’ll show you,” and without realizing, Akko has moved forward, placing her hands on Diana’s body, shifting it this way and that.

Diana is stiff as Akko flits around her, correcting her stance. Once Akko is finished, Diana curtly says, “Thank you.”

Akko scratches her chin, only now realizing how rude it was of her to touch Diana without asking.

“Um...are there any moves you want to learn?”

Diana is looking everywhere but at her as she says, “Perhaps you can demonstrate how you ducked under that sword.”

Akko chuckles at that, rubbing the back of her neck. “I don’t know about that. I only managed to pull that off from years of rolling under a fist heading for me face...But if ye want, I can teach ye how to lunge.”

Diana nods sharply. “Yes, that makes sense.”

Akko claps her hand onto Diana’s shoulder. “Come on! Loosen up a bit! Ye can never learn how to use a cutlass with that kinda attitude.”

“...Okay.”

Akko nods at this, pleased. “Well, anyways, when ye are preparing to lunge, ye need to make sure your legs are bent. This helps ye be ready to attack or defend.”

Diana looks down at her legs, correcting her stance. Akko observes this, before clearing her throat, “Ah, ye should widen your stance. That will give ye a stronger foundation.”

Diana hums in response. “Yes, that does make sense.”

Akko smiles. “I’m glad. I wouldn’t want ye to be confused.”

“Don’t put yourself down like that. You’re a wonderful teacher.”

Huh. Well, what the aristocrat says goes.

Akko continues. “Okay, well, when ye lunge, you want to step with your front foot first and have your back foot follow. Ye should try to bend your front leg in a...a…”

Akko shakes her head. “Ye know what. Is it fine with ye if I just direct your body for this?”

Diana blushes, again. But she does not refuse, which is good.

Akko places her hand on the small of her back, only now aware of how close she is to Diana. She applies pressure to it so that Diana starts to lean forward. She then moves and bends Diana’s front leg so that her back leg ends up straight. Her front leg, on the other hand, is bent similarly to the edge of a crate.

As she does this, she tells Diana, “Ye want to be able to go from a neutral stance to this stance pretty quickly. Ye wanna give it a jab at?”

Diana nods, returning back to the stance she was previously in. She is, blessed be Lady Luck, holding the sword correctly this time.

And in the span of seconds, Diana quickly turns around and lunges for Akko. Akko feels breathless, and not because of the sword pointing menacingly at her throat.

No, the bright glimmer in Diana’s eyes at getting this right does a good enough job at making Akko’s heart flutter.

Diana straightens, holding the sword to her side. “How did I do, Akko?” she asks, head tilting in curiosity.

Akko silently takes the sword from her hand, wiping it clean before answering.

She looks up, meeting with Diana’s expectant eyes.

“Ye did great, Diana!”

Diana looks pleasantly warm when she smiles at Akko’s response.

Akko’s eyes dart around. She takes a deep breath in and exhales before saying, “Hey, if ye want…”

Diana is about to turn around, but stops. “Hmm?”

Akko gulps. “I can teach ye some other moves in our free time.”

All of a sudden, Diana grasps Akko’s hands in hers.

“Yeah,” she breathes out, looking down at their clasped hands with a timid smile on her face, “yeah, I would like that.”

Diana lets go and turns around, heading for the rest of the crew.

Akko’s left with a dopey grin on her face.

Huh. So this is what it feels like to be alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been (checks last chapter's date) approximately 4 months since I've last updated. Awfully sorry about that. Life has been kicking my ass, but I will be soon kicking its' ass. Hopefully. 
> 
> First! Translation notes:  
> \- “bilge-sucking” is an insulting expression of disdain  
> \- a “killick” is a small, stone anchor with a wooden frame  
> \- to “hornswoggle” is to cheat or defraud someone out of assets or money  
> \- “doubloons” are a type of Spanish gold coins pirates used to find  
> \- “coffers” are treasure chests  
> \- to “run a rig” is to play a joke or a trick on someone  
> \- an “old salt” is an experienced pirate or sailor  
> \- to “hang the jib” is to frown or pout
> 
> Some additional notes:  
> \- That duel? Pulled out of my ass! That lesson on how to lunge? Once again, pulled out of my ass! I may have once wanted to join my school's fencing team, but I am still painfully not knowledgeable about fencing. Or any type of sword fighting, to be honest.  
> \- That stuff about opiates? Yeah, that's because they were largely popular in Europe. People used them to cure a wide variety of illnesses...I just thought that a prisoner would likely be in a lot of pain, being in prison and all, that they would like painkillers alot, ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯.   
> \- My chapters continue to not be that romantic. God, I hate myself.  
> \- And that ending was way too dramatic. Wtf @myself.
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr @neutral-as-fuck or on insta @exx3ntix if you want to!


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